i was just eight years old, i loved nog, i seen all his edits and viewed his blogs. "nog is love, nog is life" is what i said every night. one night i was asleep dreaming of nog eating my potato. i woke up. he was there. he said too me "i like poptads" then left. i never saw him again.

until that fateful night, seven years later. He came into my room wearing a purple polka dotted thong. He whispered in my ear, "this is my marsh." And he began to do several things to me in bed, I pushed against his force, I wanted to please nog. And then my mom walked in, and screamed. And nog said "you have nog seen the last of me!" and then he jumped out the window.